Opinion

Some Of The Factors That Trigger Domestic Violence In Society

08 February

Do you know that most times your abusive partner does not have any problem with his anger, he has issues with your own anger.

When someone subtly takes one of your basic humans right of getting angry with him or her, Witchcraft no pass this one.
 No matter how dirty he or she treats you, they believe your voice should never rise and your blood should never boil. No amount of you, trying to explain will do any good.
They have some patterns of abusive behaviors they exhibit in relationships that helps them gain and maintain power and control over their partners.
 When you hear domestic violence, I am sure all you think about is husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriends beating each other, let me bust your bubbles, any abuse in a domestic setting, marriage o, family o, cohabitation o, is domestic violence, which is why I will be discussing why abusers do the things they do and what exactly influences their every moves.
Let’s talk about few of the so many causes of domestic violence anywhere in the world;
 
1. Low Socio-Economic Status
In everything you do in this life, just have money, to prevent being abused and being an abuser. I say this a lot, SAPA IS NOT INERESTING. Sapa can make your Romeo turn in a dictator. Poverty increases tension within cohabiters, potentially increasing the likelihood of conflicts and violence, makes you get angry unnecessarily, you need some “holy-spirit” kind of self-control to be able to handle things without transferring poverty infected aggression to people around you. This is a major cause.
 
2. Power And Control
That unhealthy desire to always want to be in control and power, they enjoy the feeling of dominance and this often come from a place of insecurity, inadequacy and unreasonable sense of entitlement. Even when they obviously know they need help, they make you feel like it’s their birthright using different tactics
3. History Of Abuse and Witnessing Violence
“My mum never tells my dad what she wants, she takes whatever he decides to buy her, So, you have no right to reject whatever I buy for you” said Phillip, son of an abuser and his “patient” victim. Most times children who witnessed their parent fighting or one parent being abused, tend to become abusive partners. It only takes the grace of God and intentionally choosing to be different.
 
4. Mental Issue
Your abusive boyfriend might be mad, surprise surprise…lol, just kidding. But have you ever wondered why your narcissistic partner behaves the way they do? Have you heard of NARCISSISTIC DISORDER? Psychopathic and sociopathic disorder? Certain mental disorder may contribute to violent behavior, them behave in ways that they themselves can’t even understand. but it’s essential to note that not everyone with mental issue is abusive and not all abusers have mental issues. Your partner might not be normal and needs medical attention, helping them seek medical attention would be a beautiful thing to do. Sooner, the better.
 
5. Unhealthy Level of Jealousy
Jealousy when taken to the extremes can lead to possessiveness, ask the popular Nigerian Yoruba actress, Fathia, ex-wife of Mr. Balogun.
 Over jealousy can make you misbehave and unintentionally abuse people, and want to be in control them. You want to know their every movement and everything they do.
I really hope more people understand that every abuser did not just become abusive overnight, some factors must have triggered them into being an abuser. So, their repentance can never be overnight.
 We cannot cover all the causes, but I want you to bear it in mind that VIOLENCE is the LAST REFUGE of the INCOMPETENT.
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